Seven o'clock in the evening Watchin something stupid on TV I'm zoned out on the sofa When my wife comes in the room and sees me And she says, "Is this Behind the Music with Lynyrd Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know..." Say, "It's gettin' late, what you wanna do for dinner?" She says, "I kinda had a big lunch so I'm not super hungry." I said, "Well, you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either but I could eat..." She said, "So what do you have in mind?" I said, "I don't know, what about you?" She said, "I don't care... if you're hungry, let's eat." I said, "That's what we're gonna do! But first you gotta tell me what it is you're hungry for?" And she says, "Let me think, what's left in our refrigerator?" I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know." She said, "That went bad a week ago!" I said, "Is the chili okay?" She said, "You finished that yesterday!" I hopped up and I said "I don't know. Do you want to get something delivered?" She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver? I don't even like liver!" I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered'." She's like, "I heard you say 'liver'!" I'm like, "I should know what I said..." She's like, "Whatever! I just don't want any liver!" Well, I was gonna say something But my cell phone started to ring Now who could be callin' me? Well, I checked my caller ID It was just cousin Larry Callin' for the third time today My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail." I said, "Okay." "Where were we? Oh, dinner, right! So what do you want to do?" She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin' in the kitchen?" "Yeah," I said, "why don't you?" And then she said, "Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?" I says, "No" She says, "Yes" I says, "No" She says, "Yes" I says, "No" She says, "Yes... Oh, here's your keys" I step a little bit closer Say, "Okay, where ya want to go?" She says, "How about The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, well, I don't know I don't feel like gettin' all dressed up And eatin' expensive food" She's says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood And Burrito King would make me gassy There's no doubt" She says, "Just forget about it" I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!" Then I get an idea I say, "I know what we'll do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess!" She says "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!" So we head out the front door Open the garage door Then I open the car doors And we get in those car doors Put my key in the ignition And then I turn it sideways Then we fasten our seat belts As we pull out the driveway Then we drive to the drive-thru Heading off to the drive-thru We're approaching the drive-thru Getting close to the drive-thru Almost there at the drive-thru Now we're here at the drive-thru Here in line at the drive-thru Did I mention the drive-thru? Well, here we are In the drive-thru line, me and her Cars in front of us, cars in back of us All just waiting to order There's some idiot in a Volvo With his brights on behind me I lean out the window and scream "Hey, what you trying to do, blind me?" My wife says, "Maybe we should park, we could just go eat inside." I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers So I ain't leavin' this ride..." Now a woman on a speaker box Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese." Then my wife says "Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind! I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich instead this time" I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for." I put my head in my hands and scream "I don't know who you are anymore!" The voice on the speaker says "I don't have all day." I said, "Then take our order and we'll be on our way! I wanna get a chicken sandwich and I want a cheeseburger too" She's like, "You want onions on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do Plus we need curly fries And don't you dare forget it! And two medium root beers No, just one, we'll split it." Then I said "I'm guessin' that you're probably not too bright So read me back my order Let's make sure you got it right." She says "One - you want a chicken sandwich Two - you want a cheeseburger Three - curly fries, and a large root beer" "Stop! Don't go no further! I never ordered a large root beer I said medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're havin' a special I supersized you at no charge." "Oh." And that's all I could say, was "Oh." And she says, "Now