Fat and weak, what a disgrace Guess the champ got too lazy Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain But he's no bum, he works down the street He bought the neighborhood deli Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat Come inside, maybe you'll hear him say Try the rye or the kaiser They're on special tonight If you want, you can have an appetizer You might like our salami, and the liver's all right And they'd really go well with the rye Or the kaiser Never eats while on the job He heard it's good to stay hungry But he makes a pretty mean shish kabob Have a taste, they were made fresh today Try the rye or the kaiser or the wheat or the white Maybe I can suggest an appetizer Stay away from the tuna, it smells funny tonight But you just can't go wrong with the rye Or the kaiser So today, his deli comes first Still he dreams of his past days of glory Goes in the back and beats up on the liverwurst All the while you can still hear him say It's the rye or the kaiser, it's the thrill of one bite Let me please be your catering advisor If you want substitutions, I won't put up a fight You can have your roast beef on the rye Or the kaiser The rye or the kaiser The rye or the kaiser The rye or the kaiser